Episode 43: Life Updates: Sharing Our Highs and Lows of Work, Motherhood, and Self-care

• 0:03

  Hi there, this is doula Rachel and today's episode is co hosted with Dr. Shannon and we are sharing with you some life updates. We were discussing about some of the possible topics that we were going to bring to you guys. And we both wanted to just be real and share the things that are happening with us things that are going well and things that we're struggling with in work and in motherhood and in like taking care of ourselves health and self care, and we're going to give you a rundown of all of that in today's episode. So I hope you enjoy it. And Dr. Shannon, I'm so glad to be having this conversation with you today.

  
  

  0:45

  I know this was fun. I love our little like, what are we going to record like our conversations back and forth. So we use boxer back and forth quite a bit. And remember, at one point it was kind of like and I'll talk about it later in one of going through like wins and losses because I had heard this on another podcast. I was like this is kind of fun, like literally just listening to two moms have a conversation because I could like shake my head and be like, Oh yeah, I'm there. I feel that you know, and it just felt good. Yeah, like, I'm not alone type of thing. And so I love that. Yeah, I'm excited to go through our wins and our losses. But I know we have we've shared recently on our all of our social pages. So we have our aligned for podcast, Instagram page, and then we each have our own like business pages. So sunrise, chiropractic in North Atlanta birth. And so we've shared we've been able to do some pretty cool. Write some articles lately. And actually y'all y'all are late mine was like two years ago, but it's still pretty relevant because I like to go back and reread it. I was like, Oh, wow. Um, I'll comment on where I'm at now in that article and what I wrote about which is kind of cool, but there's a couple of places in Atlanta that'll do like voyage and shout out Atlanta and they just highlight business owners and they ask you wonderful questions and you get to write these articles and you're nominated by someone to to write these things and to share your thoughts and I don't know I just felt like a huge honor. That you guys to some of the thought of y'all to share your thoughts and things and so, yeah, what do you think?

  
  

  2:30

  Yeah, I was super excited. And it's cool because I mean, it lives on forever. It's on the web. It's like a it's like a magazine type format. And, and I Hannah and I were thrilled to be able to have the opportunity because it's another way to kind of share about what we do and get that word out there and also share like, we also provide, you know, names that people who we think should also be highlighted and so that keeps going. And so I love that you were able to do that a couple years ago and we just recently did it. And it was super, it was super cool. It was a great experience. So what did your What was your shout out Atlanta article about?

  
  

  3:09

  Mine was fun in that I chose

  
  

  3:14

  to write mine about how my perspective of work life balance has changed over time. And I probably would still choose to write this one today to like when I look at it just I love Well, first of all, like work life balance. Sometimes that word like it makes me cringe because it's really fun. So my whole thing in that article was that really and I'd already written a blog on it balancing act. That's the name of the blog I wrote and so I kind of went back to that and looked at okay, balance does it mean like, it doesn't mean 5050 even split, you know, you can have it's that 8020 Sometimes it's 9010 You know, it changes and I think that's kind of the aspect of it, and that was like unreal expectations of balance. But that there's seasons to the balance of life. And so, you know, my my season is not gonna be the same as your season. And, you know, and kind of being okay with that, you know, I've had lots of different seasons. And so that's what I kind of highlighted as you know, going back to work. Not realizing that it was an unfulfilling job, her not really realizing it was gonna be fulfilling. So that was one season and then like changing careers another season, going back to school with two kids, you know, full time, that was another season and then opening my own office and when I wrote this, it was right at the beginning of the pandemic, so I think is 2020 or something like that. Wow, that was another season right and so now I'm even in I would say like another season. I don't know maybe we'll talk about that in wins and losses, but um, and the big one do not compare your bounce to anyone else's balanced can mean that partnership and that was a big thing. And and also able to talk about how I approach care in the office and just my birth story and how that played a part. But it's fun is I nominated some other people at the end of the article, and they actually ended up writing it and being able to write their articles as well too. And so I go, I went back and read theirs and maybe I'll link theirs in ours because it was really cool like my wonderful yoga friend and then this Holistic Therapist that I know as well. Did one and so she did hers on work life balance as well too. And so it was really really neat. It was really neat to set up that was a fun that was a fun experiment to do. I will say voyage Atlanta has reached out as well and I have yet to do it.

  
  

  5:50

  Do it do

  
  

  5:53

  well probably talk about the wins and losses. Oh, I got to do it. So

  
  

  5:56

  here we are. A great article. I love what you wrote. in it. And I love that conversation about work life balance, and it is constantly present and it is ever evolving. And I think you bring a good perspective to that. And I think it's important for people to learn more about that perspective, and I hope everyone doesn't read it.

  
  

  6:13

  Thank you, friend. I loved your articles too. Like I was just so excited. I love the picture that they use. Like it was just everything was happy. I just loved I love love loved it. So I want to hear about both of y'all because they talk about a little bit, you know, kind of

  
  

  6:28

  different. Yeah, they're, they were fun. So and for us, you know, Hannah and I's business. We both been doulas for a long time, but I our business as a partnership as a brand new baby business just started last year. So this for us is our very first publication together. And so we were very honored and excited to be able to do this. But the the shout out Atlanta one which we're going to link all of these in our notes so you guys should go read them. Just really focused on the vision for our future for North Atlanta bar services, which Hannah and I have a very big excited to bring it on. Bring it bring it on. Yeah. So we dive into that and then we shared like what we do and what doulas do, which we could talk about endlessly. And you can actually check out one of our previous episodes where Hannah is just Hannah and I and we talked about this exact thing about what we do what doulas do like what it looks like to work with us. And all of that so and then we also watch I love this about local publications as we shared our local favorite spots for grabbing a food and a drink and you know, and being outside and all that so you can you know, kind of is spreading that like local vibe in each article. Like I think they're asking that for everyone to share so that everyone helps spread the word about local places. So um, that was the shout out Atlanta article and then we did the voyage Atlanta one, which is similar but it was we shared our story like our origin story, which Shannon is part of. Like I'm gonna cry. So if you want to hear about our origin story, definitely read that. Talking about challenges we faced and I was first when I first read that question, I was like, I don't want to talk about the hard things I know. But the when you do kind of find the gift and talking about the hard thing so hopefully you know you guys like that do what you know what we do and what sets us apart from others. And we talked about how it's taking which again, interesting, you know, a little bit different conversation there. And then we get to share like about our business structure and stuff like that. So definitely but more business eat but the voyage Atlanta article will be linked. So definitely check that out as well.

  
  

  8:40

  Yeah, I know. It's kind of fun to sit down and process that stuff, which I think is a little bit of kind of what I know we I kind of sat down like processed life as I was working on like these wins and losses that we wanted to talk about. It seems like a really good time to do it. I don't know.

  
  

  8:57

  It does and at first I was like, Well, I'm always hesitant like I immediately it's like if you ask me something on the spot I'm going to my answer is most likely going to be different than if I sit and think about it for a second. So I appreciate it as having a moment to prepare for this episode because had you just asked me on the fly probably. I just want to set something different and so sitting and being faithful sermon, you know, looking forward to talking about what's happening in our in our lives, because we have wives, right? Like we have many, many hats. We're wearing many things we're juggling, and sometimes things are going well and sometimes they're harder than others and I just want to be real I want to be you know, kind of sharing real life with with people who want to who want to listen and who are going through similar things and you know, just a little bit of insight.

  
  

  9:45

  Yeah, exactly. Is that people you know, we all have those wins and losses and I think this is a beautiful thing. To do. I've heard so many patients do this kind of at the dinner table, their dinner table discussion with their kids and what was the wins and losses for the day? And so maybe this I don't know, gives you insight into some of those things and helps you process also like was that a win or is that a loss? Sometimes I have a hard time like,

  
  

  10:14

  I don't know, also how I frame it with my kids. And that's so funny. I didn't even think about that. So every day when my kids get home from school and I'm fortunate and thankful enough to be able to be here when they get home and like we get a snack and we start homework. But before that I asked them we it's called highs and lows. Yes the day and it's like Okay, give me a high and give me a low and I don't try and guide it I just what did they perceive as a high and what did they perceive as a low and and we talked about it and it's usually sure it's very short and sweet but it is. I love it. It's a fun little routine and i i love it and we went on actually a hike last night which we don't normally do during the week but it was just been so pretty outside and the sun staying up a little bit longer and so and on the and on that hike because it was the boys had just gotten home we we talked about our highs and lows and and even JMA participated so it was it's nice. So

  
  

  11:08

  that's a perfect and that's really I don't know that's helping the kiddos So um, yeah, so that's what this is kind of like a wins and losses. Alright, so we have one of our categories we have work with motherhood and we have health and self care. Where do

  
  

  11:24

  you want to start? Let's start with work, I guess work.

  
  

  11:29

  All right. Do you want to go first?

  
  

  11:31

  Sure. Although first I'm having to go for wins.

  
  

  11:35

  Okay, what's the win?

  
  

  11:36

  Okay, so we had so Hannah and I we are we are doulas and we had a client who went into labor early around, she was about 36. She was between 36 and 37 weeks early and it's a wit Yeah, yeah. And that's like, yeah, you're kind of like Oh, how's this gonna go? And, but it went really well. And I you know, seeing her like advocate for herself seek the support she needed. She chose a great care provider advocated for a gentle induction and navigated it was a very long induction but navigated it really really well with a great attitude. Just like she was using the brain acronym all the time. She was, you know, resting and hydrating as she needed. And she you know, I feel like based on what she has said to us that she had a very safe, healthy and empowering birth experience, even when she was faced with many, many things that were not part of her original birth plan. But she kept many of her things in tact that she wanted, even though she was faced with some challenges. And as a doula that's a best case scenario for us.

  
  

  12:45

  That's a total win. Exactly. Like that's, that's that outcome that you want when you know she even saying that she felt great about it, even though you know faced some of the unknowns.

  
  

  12:57

  You kind of see some things come to fruition that you work on, right that that is your your goal and you're you're constantly working with your client. So when you see it come to play, and I think a lot of times these things show up in times that are unexpected. So of course when we have the bursts that go as planned or has hoped for as desired. Those are wonderful, but it's also like when you can see when people are faced with challenges that they still have the tools they need and the people they need. It leaves you feeling like okay, this is this is why I do what I do.

  
  

  13:28

  Definitely a win that's so good. Yeah, what about you? Um, oh, so for the month of February because that is very recent, so I know that might be I don't know when this will come out. Just dating the article or the episode. I have patients fill out little hearts. I actually learned this from my mentor, Dr. Pam, on why they love chiropractic care, because I think it's a fun thing to kind of. Well honestly, I just like to read what people write because I like to see what they maybe have learned or experienced from it that I may not know you know what I mean? Like I they may not express it all the time or something. And so I really like to see like, what are they experiencing here and it was neat to see. I've done it every year. It was neat to see the shift this year. The good ones are always really fun because they're always like super insightful sometimes and then other times it's it's really cute. Oh just draw pictures. But the big thing this year was the mention of moms felt like they did a better job. Mommy has as I call it like they were better moms because they were under care. And there was a big emphasis on like, this was their me time and this is what they did for themselves. And this is a part of their self care. So yeah, I thought that was kind of neat, like and a lot of times and I leave him up so people can come read him and most of times people will write it and then they'll go and like and look over there so it was It wasn't like something that was like influenced by some of you know what other people have said and that type of thing. So Right. So cool. Yeah, that was pretty I do like doing that. And then I had the only other thing I wanted to add because it just happened yesterday, but I had I have three generations and one family under care. So

  
  

  15:25

  I know that we need a picture with them.

  
  

  15:28

  I know I thought that I was like Oh we gotta do this. So that was a that was pretty sweet.

  
  

  15:33

  That is beautiful. I love that you did that and that you're able to kind of reap that reward that, you know, and you pour into your clients that have that, you know, kind of come back to you I think is really Yeah,

  
  

  15:43

  so that's fun. Um, all right, Fred. What's the loss for work or what's the love? It was? Too low.

  
  

  15:52

  I think it's highs. Maybe better hide? Yeah, yeah. Um, so for me, it's this week. Work is very busy. We've got lots of meetings and I'm on call for a client who's due which is all great. It's what I signed up for. But I am feeling I'm on my period. So we're just going to go ahead and say that and when I'm on my period, and this is I think we've we are leaning towards making this an episode one day but like the cycle right so the cycle is like seasons and right now I'm in winter mode and I am like, I am feeling like a little bit of brain fog, a little bit of lack of motivation.

  
  

  16:37

  Your rest and reflect Yeah, but I'm letting you

  
  

  16:43

  like you don't get and so. So when it applies to work is that I still have to show up for work every day and I still have people meeting me to be my best all the time and I do my do my best to do that. So this week, it just feels exceptionally challenging for that reason because they have a lot going on and and so very thankful for that but also just feeling like a lot of brain fog a lot of like I have a million things to do and I'm not getting them done. And Mike, I know it's temporary but it just leaves me feeling a little discouraged. And I just know that's just a season and it's crazy how like hormones work like intellectually I know what's happening but it doesn't change the sort of heavy sludgy feeling it gives me Yeah, no,

  
  

  17:27

  there can be total thing where you can be like, I know that this is like the hormones and I'm aware of this, but I'm literally still feeling like Yeah, yeah, not doing anything. You're gonna Netflix and binge. I know. I just Yeah, no, I feel you on that. Right now. It's tough. Yeah, it's tough pushing through. Well, mine's kind of like kind of the same, in that. I have a multitude of unfinished projects that just really bugged me and there's obviously some resistance as to why I'm not doing them all the time. I've had my my planner is like a weekly planner. And I think I've written the same few things on it. Every frickin week for I could be a year now. I don't know what I'm done. I'm done. So anyways, um, but I know me I get overwhelmed very easily. And so I'm an Enneagram three, and when an Enneagram three is in an unhealthy spot you go to like an unhealthy nine. And unhealthy nine is like, the world is overwhelming. I'm not going to do any.

  
  

  18:45

  paralyzing

  
  

  18:46

  I do I'd like so that's where I'm at. So it's just, you know,

  
  

  18:50

  the blogs I want to write. There's things I want to do in the office. There's better software I want to use I want to update the website. I submit my taxes like all of these things, and you know, what's fun is it's all the business side of the business. It's like where you

  
  

  19:05

  spend your energy.

  
  

  19:06

  So that's why there's resistance but yeah, that's um so yeah,

  
  

  19:11

  that's where you can find a theme and the things that you don't really want to do that then

  
  

  19:15

  I wrote. Yeah. When I wrote it out, I was like, what, what's the theme of these? They're all the business side.

  
  

  19:24

  Yeah, outsource stuff.

  
  

  19:26

  I know, right?

  
  

  19:27

  Maybe I know

  
  

  19:28

  I you know I think I'm on that route. Yeah.

  
  

  19:32

  Yeah. I feel you feel you on all of that. Especially being a business owner. I totally get that and I have the things that perpetually are haunting me that I need to do and I'm like, but I'd rather go do this thing over here.

  
  

  19:42

  This is way more fun. I like this.

  
  

  19:46

  I like this bright, shiny thing.

  
  

  19:48

  Way more fun. I know. Oh, God. Oh,

  
  

  19:51

  yeah. So good. Well, I'm here to tell you you're doing a great job. Don't want the world overwhelm you keep going. And there will always be a list. They're always looking to do like

  
  

  20:02

  I know embrace and we talked about just briefly before coming on this episode with you and like that cycle that you're going through now and kind of knowing okay, like I'm aware of this and I know that like maybe we build in that rest, you know, like, thing to on Instagram as far as like your exercise and like exercising around your cycling. And cycle sinking is what it's called. And it's kind of the same thing. It's like building in that rest and saying, Okay, I know well, this week, you know, so even if it's I've got to go hard today. Where can I build in that rest? So yeah, and

  
  

  20:38

  that is something I really want to incorporate and I've been wanting to incorporate for a long time, but I have to do with some on wiring of my, my brain in order to like, allow myself to embrace that like, Okay, I'm gonna rest more this week because I'm on my period instead of like, No, you're still gonna get up at 430 and workout because if you don't, you're not gonna get a workout in and then the day is gonna get away from you, and you won't get it in and it's like, okay, just undo that. You don't have to do that. Just sleep a little bit longer and let the workout go. Like, it's okay.

  
  

  21:10

  You took that walk with the family. So that can be yes, you know,

  
  

  21:14

  that showed up in the evening unexpectedly and at 430 in the morning. I don't know that that's gonna show up unexpectedly. Stop arguing. But that's the wiring because I dare you and Irie. I want that and I think everyone should gravitate towards that especially as women but as women. Here's the thing. We show up in a world that's typically structured and dominated by the male cycle are ours. Yeah, which is like, oh, we have to be the same every day. That's the expectation and that's how we were raised. And so you have to undo that and literally, that's why I feel like if I don't do the same thing every day that I'm failing on some front, and that's Oh, yeah, problematic. That is a to my detriment. And so it's like I want to grow towards like cycle thinking, embracing the flow, being okay with rest, because I know I'm better when I am. So thank you for sharing that.

  
  

  22:09

  No, that's I know thank you for sharing that because yeah, that's big. That's big, my friend. Yes.

  
  

  22:16

  Okay, so do we want to talk about mama hood? Sure. She want to go first this time.

  
  

  22:21

  Yeah, I can do. We'll start with the the HI. Start with that. Um, let's see. Oh, so you know, we have done episodes. Okay. I have two things. I don't know why I could limit this to one but um, which it actually took me a very long time to come up with. I will tell you this. This was the last one that I filled out on our list.

  
  

  22:42

  Okay. kind of struggling with it. Motherhood. Oh, hi.

  
  

  22:47

  Yeah, I was like, Do you know what I was like? What have you done good as a mother and like nothing. I know, right? No, but here we are. But mine is more is more family ish related. So um, I'll start with the family when it's, I call it like I even wrote down I just family flow. And I guess I was thinking of the that shot article I'd written and it's like the flow that I'm in now on the balance that we have now. So we just came off of winter break and we did a whole lot of nothing like I worked that's my husband work but we I took one day off and hung with the family. And it was it was really good. And so I feel like that family time last night, my 12 year old said, he's like, I love her family. He's like, I love this neighborhood. Like you just kind of go through that and I know I know. And which he's also part of my, my low so we'll get there in a minute. But um, that was really nice to like, Okay, this kiddo feels like safe and secure. And I just think the partnership

  
  

  0:00

  that I have with my husband and like this, this balance that we have, but it's not it's not 5050 But there is you know, I lean on him a little bit more Some days he will be a little bit more some days and I feel like the flow that we have right now is so so good. Like I found the flow in the business and how I want to structure the that and I don't know and I know it'll change I know there's the seasons to it, but it just feels really good now and I feel like the energy in the family is really good and I feel like the kids they feed off of that you know that they feel it and I feel that they are they feel secure. You know, it's

  
  

  0:38

  awesome. And I think appreciating the flow when it feels right knowing it's not forever and that everything is finite, that it's just enjoy the flow while it's there and that sometimes we get caught up in what's next or stressing about other things. It's like Nope, just going to embrace joy this need

  
  

  0:54

  to be simple. Exactly. I was like okay, so because awareness is my word of the year and so it was like okay, just be aware like be in this present moment. You know and not try to fast forward or you know, past or anything but I you know we did we did a vision board episode and then I had my vision board event in my office and guess what I didn't do for months. I didn't do my freakin vision board. So I did it during winter break. I did the front thing that I'm still working on the back because I'm doing like a coloring sheet with it. I'm changing it up a bit, but I was that was a I feel like that's a motherhood wing because it made me a better person to have that.

  
  

  1:33

  Having done that's one of your projects you got completed

  
  

  1:37

  that was what Yeah, see, that didn't make it didn't overwhelm me anymore. I should have been I shouldn't have to work with and I'm just kidding.

  
  

  1:46

  You're hilarious. Well, that's beautiful. I love that. Okay, so

  
  

  1:52

  All right. What's your what's what's Uh, hi.

  
  

  1:54

  I have motherhood Hi is that my kids are finally consistently folding and putting away their laundry which feels amazing. Because we got a lot of laundry in this case me. Oh, my God. And then when they can't find something on their door, I'm like, Well, where did you put it? It's not you put it. I'm like, and my youngest is eight. I've got an eight and five year old and the five year olds obviously he he is growing towards better folding but he still gets like it closely idea and I don't I had to let go of my like, we're gonna fold shirts this way. We're gonna fold shorts this way like, as long as they're folded reasonably well and like the same sort of like pile like long sleeve short sleeve shorts and pants like whatever. And then like they have hundreds of socks I feel like and I one it's been recently I just committed to all the same socks so the boys have the same size. They're all the same color. Unless they're like specific to a sport. Otherwise, like their school socks. They're all the same so they don't have to match that you have to turn them right side out and ball two together. That's it and they go in like a basket in the front hall. And they do all this on their own. I wash it and I dry it. That's the next step I told ever because like recently he said something about being out of his leggings that he wears everyday to school. And I was like, oh, did you run the laundry? And he's like, Yep, no, and I'm like, okay, as soon as they start asking for like certain items of clothes, I'm like, Okay, it's time to teach them how to actually run the laundry. So that'll be next but folding is something I kind of Lowe's doing. So having them do their own has been a win.

  
  

  3:44

  I love it. My that is that is so big because my my kids are not the same size. So like I have a 12 year old and a nine year old. Is that right? Yeah. And so they have different things. And so again, family flow, my husband does a lot of the laundry. God bless him. And and so this is this is not a complaint. I'm not gonna let him listen. But he doesn't always know who's closer who's even looking at the size and so they end up veiled like So Dylan, my youngest in the morning. He wanted to wear all red, like everything needed to be red, but he couldn't find his red shorts. And I was like, first of all, God love my husband's like, But daddy doesn't know where these things go. And secondly, you didn't put them so and he found them in the clean pile of clothes on his floor.

  
  

  4:42

  My this happens my kids are just like one size apart. They are three years in a jar. And they're one size apart. So they have their own clothes sock Yeah, but the secondary sock share but clothes they have their own and J similarly because I get it he doesn't like I do I usually buy their clothes like I've got it ingrained in my brain. This is yes, some things. They even mix up their things sometimes and so. So now those like if one of them mixes it up and they can't find it and it's like they know it's been recently I'm gonna just look in your brother's drawer like there's only two places it can be the dirty clothes hamper which they share. And the one year two sets of drawers. So if it's not in one drawer, just go look in the other it's probably there. Yeah, they're

  
  

  5:30

  down the other day and the shorts and I was like,

  
  

  5:33

  there's your shorts. He was like,

  
  

  5:35

  well, they were in my drawer. So tight. There we go. I was like I love it's like

  
  

  5:42

  well, they were in my drawer and so please feel tight. They're probably not mine. No, it's like well, I guess I've grown Hmm. The library fairy gave me God bless. I know we've had

  
  

  5:57

  a yay What did mama yeah hi. Hi.

  
  

  6:00

  It is a high for sure. I get so excited when they get done with folding all their clothes and putting it away. And it's like that has to happen before anything you know, as a chore. It's something they are responsible for. So yeah, okay,

  
  

  6:12

  that's good. Um, let's see a low a low for motherhood. Um, no, I just sometimes it feels hard all the time. It feels hard. I don't know who am I kidding. Um this is what I wrote out on my same long run where I was going to boxer my friend about all the things in life. Um, I came up with a book title that I would like to read. called how to parent an emotionally intelligent child would you yourself are not emotionally intelligent to Yeah. It's processing of all the emotions and it's mainly with my oldest who's 12. So I know we're coming into puberty, we're coming into hormones. But sometimes it's like a light switch of just like, oh gosh, we were really good. And now now now we're not now the day is ruined, like you know that kind of, I don't know, I kind of like collapse. And so and it's hard to you know, in motherhood when also you are, say you're in your cycle right or you're low and rest and reflect and yet you need to be here, let me help you with these tools. You know, like, it's also exhausting in that aspect of things. And so I just Yeah, so so that is difficult. We've had a really, really good week. So we've, you know, just things with him. seem good as far as you know, routines and self sufficiency and those type of things with him, but I don't know. I feel like it's tough. His age is tough, like it's his first year in middle school. And there's just lots there with that. I think, you know, things can be heavy. I think his childhood is completely different than mine. And I hate saying that, because then I feel like, you know, the generation above us says that to you know, I had to walk to school, backwards in the snow like that kind of stuff where I'm like, Oh my God, but it's true. Um, but now I mean, it's a lot of just the electronic world and balancing that. I don't know. That's been, it's been on my mind. And so that's been kind of a little tough.

  
  

  8:38

  Let me know if you find that book or write that. Or write that book. I love it. And I just you are in a season and I just want to give you a big hug. And I know I like hearing you say it's good this week, and like taking that for what it's at what it is and knowing that it might, it might ebb and flow and I think raising kids we tap we are forced to tap into or face our, you know, wiring and how we were raised good or bad. And it comes out in our parenting and man it comes out I know and emotional intelligence is important. And no doubt you are doing an amazing job even if you feel like you aren't.

  
  

  9:21

  I know it's tough. I know. I know every parent you know kind of struggles with it too. But and it's okay for your kids to be upset and to not always be happy exactly what kind of it's honoring that and then it's also looking at Well where does our happiness come from? It can't you know, looking at instead of these external things, how can we harbor that any?

  
  

  9:41

  I remember when my first was pretty young, I've reading a book and it talking about how like, we're not responsible for our kids happiness, but we're responsible for providing a safe environment for them and to feel what they need to feel and process what they need to process but feeling like it's our responsibility to make sure our kids are always happy is setting everyone up for failure, right because we're not always going to be happy and we can't always protect them from that, but we can give them the tools to process a safe place to talk. You know, and that's what you're doing.

  
  

  10:18

  Exactly. That's what I know. I will say I really liked this product big life journal because it gives give really good prompts for like questions to ask and ways to you know, combat things. And I've shared it in my newsletter a bunch, and I follow them on social and I really like, you know, like if they're looking at like negative thinking, well, how can we flip this around? And that's been something that's been helpful as far as Oh, cool.

  
  

  10:42

  I'll just check that out. But we can share it too.

  
  

  10:44

  Yeah, I like big life journal. But alright, friends, so what is a motherhood low for you?

  
  

  10:51

  Okay, so this week, we've lost a very close family member unexpectedly and she's very young and it's been hard on our family. And my boys have witnessed probably me in a state of sadness that they have not witnessed before. And a lot of Mommy, what's wrong? What's happening? What's going on? And then they're hearing conversations between adults and they're there they're picking up on stuff right? And learning how to talk about death with them in a very real way and I've always committed to my children and told them I'll I will never lie to them. And I'm not one for sugarcoating. I like to shoot things straight. But then also, I mean, they're eight and five. So, you know, always being realistic with their with that and trying to be their level with their level of understanding right, but also being honest with them. And so that has been definitely a low. It's also been a learning opportunity. And they are just the sweetest boys. They don't even know what's happening and they just want to run over and, and hug. You know, they're like, I don't know what's going on. And they're doing what they can, which is the sweetest thing ever. And usually just what your heart needs, but that has been a challenge and we're still navigating it and so

  
  

  12:28

  well hugs to you to my friend. I know that. That's tough, and it's kind of especially at their age, because they can be so aware of things but yet how do you explain it at that at that level? I know. And so I think one beautiful thing though, from what you said was um, they're seeing the emotion from you. And I don't think that that's something you know, we should add like, you know, crying and quiet type of thing. Obviously, there's, there's times for that if you know, that type of thing, but if you're talking about like, you know, we recently lost their great grandpa my grandpa this past November and going to the funeral and processing that and me telling them and seeing you know they were seeing my mom cry there Mimi and like all of those things and all the family and stuff like that, and I think it's just neat to see. They can see how people process those and you know that it's okay to feel those things. And to feel it, you know, and to talk about it. And I know Yeah, I thought of you friend for you know and for for doing that. It's tough. It's tough.

  
  

  13:46

  Yes, definitely. Well, thank you very much. Yeah, well get through.

  
  

  13:50

  You will, you know, I know kids are so good and resilient. Um, all right, our health and self care. Let's see. Do you want to share a high for you for your help him self care?

  
  

  14:08

  I would love to because it's contributing to me feeling better. Yeah, so I have been off and on chiropractic care since I was in high school. So definitely not a stranger to chiropractic care, but have definitely taken you know, life. happens. And so I fell out of going and started back a couple weeks ago, and it feels amazing. Yeah. I was so out of alignment. And now I'm going twice a week right now with the goal of hoping to go to a point of like once every other week. I think before like once every other week was good maintenance for me. But right now I'm going twice a week. I have a straight neck and a straight neck can cause all kinds of problems. That's something I've dealt with since I was young and it means routine. Like I need routine chiropractic care. And but I sleep better I've got more energy I have far less pain. I was like couldn't even turn my head side to side I had like, I was in all kinds of knots in my upper back. So I've got more mobility in that area and just then that leads to better workouts that leads to sleeping better like so many things. So just all in all, so happy to have reprioritize that and be back under the care and I've got my boys back under care too. So that's good for them.

  
  

  15:34

  Ah, well, good for you. Yes. Like you for prioritizing. I know I like that one. Um, I need to do mine in the opposite order because I want to talk about my low

  
  

  15:51

  won't make sense. So there's no rules here. This is what we're gonna do. Um, so my low was I my Garmin watch died. That's not the low but that is part of the love is that my Garmin died I'd had that thing. I don't know I wear my watches like out and I use a garment I just love it and so I went and got a new one and I am so freaking excited and I didn't realize all the things I was missing. But my old flat but my old one I would sometimes wear it at night and because I like to track my sleep every once while I don't like to do it all the time. But I do like to do it maybe like monthly cycles or something like that just to kind of check in and see hey, what's going on? And so I thought my sleep was fine. Based on the data from my old watch until I got my new watch and literally every it would tell me like it could say this like you suck at sleeping. It would it would have said that like it gives you this percentage score and everything was like failing and so me I just, I don't know as someone who considers themselves to be healthy and talking about these things and ways that you can improve these things. You're like this, like I took that So personally, oh my gosh, so but my highs related to what I was like oh, okay, for that. I'm gonna fix that real quick.

  
  

  17:13

  So we'll go straight into the wind

  
  

  17:15

  we'll go straight into the when is that? Um, you know, it was so crazy is that I like it it will tell me my stress levels in my sleep. So that has to do with heart rate variability. It would tell me my deep sleep, my rem and then my light sleep. It was all jacked up. So here's my nighttime routine. I have started a nighttime routine. I have a morning routine that I absolutely love, but I don't have a nighttime routine. Routine was like just everybody get to bed type of thing, you know, collapse at the, you know, my nighttime routine and it kind of coincides so when when we're doing this episode here, it's like right at the beginning of Lent. So I have a magnesium supplement to take at night. I have my Sleepytime CBD that I take and then I lay on my I have an acupressure mat that I lay on and I will read it I'll still read on my Kindle. But then I'll also take like a few moments to just kind of like meditate, pray. Think about the day that type of thing I love. Yeah. And so that's been the nighttime routine I've listened to so part of my limp thing, which is I'm adding like all of those aspects are part of it like that is what I'm incorporating. And then I'm giving up I'm going to do no alcohol so I think that was like impacting my sleep not that I drink every night but like it does impact your sleep. Very it doesn't take much and so I listened to a podcast recently fit mom talk. I love them. It's actually one of the they're actually local ladies and they had did a whole episode on sober curious and I was like, this is fascinating to me. And um, yeah, so I listened to that and I was like, Oh, I'm just gonna put this in with my my lip stuff and my nighttime routine and yeah,

  
  

  19:08

  so I love Hey, rolled all that into like a beautiful routine. Oh, so good. Alcohol definitely contributes to disruptive sleep and people don't even you know doesn't even take much I completely agree with that.

  
  

  19:21

  It really it really doesn't. So

  
  

  19:22

  the what magnesium supplement are you doing? I'm curious because I do want to.

  
  

  19:27

  I do so the one I do is called Mad calm Pro and it's from nutria dine so it's just wonderful functional medicine company and I use their products a lot and I really liked them i and i i actually have like a foundational children's health protocol on there. I have all kinds of like post virus protocols for people, you know, all kinds of things. Ways to just kind of help supplement the body but that's the one I use. It's got its magnesium malate but it has B six as well. Elfine taurine, and then Myo inositol. So it's got some other things in there that I really liked. So I do a scoop and even my youngest was like, is that that he was like, last night he was trying to go to sleep and I was mixing my little drink. I was like, I gotta get this in. And he was like, What are you doing is except the drink can I have son? Sometimes we have some sips of knife.

  
  

  20:27

  Yeah, I give some of the boys some of my magnesium drink too. So then I do a warm, just plain straight magnesium powder.

  
  

  20:36

  Yeah, this is a powder and then I put it it's not warm. I just do like regular water. I mean, you can do whatever you want. But yeah,

  
  

  20:42

  that's really and so tell me this and I'm only asking because I saw you post about it. What's your new sleep score?

  
  

  20:48

  Oh, I just got a 99% that Garmin.

  
  

  20:54

  You're like I will beat this. I

  
  

  20:56

  see that is like the Enneagram three super competitive. I know everything. You can't tell me anything over and talk about all my faults today. Um,

  
  

  21:08

  did turn out to be good, like bedtime routine is

  
  

  21:12

  good that I know that my sleep score from last night was at five so that was pretty good. And so I've been consistently in like 90s and 80s. Since I mean I've been doing this for very long, but there's light at the end of the tunnel. Good but you know I talk about sleep in the office and I know chiropractic care can impact sleep. So I'm the here's my disclaimer, but it's not going to be the end all be all so yes, I can improve sleep but there's other things you have to do. So I guess that's my like, you know, PSA and you know

  
  

  21:43

  100% And a bedtime routine is important like you do kind of a sequence of events to wind down and I love yours. I think it's very good. And I think anyway, you can people can do a variety of things, but just taking that time seriously and it can really help you prepare for a good night's sleep. So

  
  

  21:58

  and I've done it where it's doable and manageable. It's not like this long drawn out thing. And also this is the season of life I'm in that I can this is the routine I paid so

  
  

  22:07

  yeah, right. Yeah, everyone's in different seasons. So do what you can with what you got where you're at.

  
  

  22:13

  Alright friends, friend, what was your low

  
  

  22:15

  okay, my. My low is that we traveled out of town for a short trip to see family in Ohio, which is always wonderful and fun. But my husband bought a tin of gourmet popcorn while we were there apparently from like his favorite childhood popcorn shop and so we have this massive tin and I never eat popcorn because popcorn destroys my stomach. And that does not my body does not tolerate really corn on any level. Yeah. But popcorn especially. So my body is recovering from enjoying myself over just and it was like we were going on like three nights. It was a very short trip but I I ate my weight and popcorn. And

  
  

  23:02

  I could see you eating eternal like knowing like what it's gonna do you ever like good oh guy or do like

  
  

  23:10

  it was so good. And I enjoyed I let myself enjoy it. I didn't do it guilty. I did enjoy it. But then I spent you know the next week or two on doing that

  
  

  23:18

  by trying to find balance. Yeah.

  
  

  23:21

  You know, you take what you can with what you got.

  
  

  23:24

  I know ah well yeah, I feel good going through our highs and lows

  
  

  23:29

  girl I think a regular I think that's really good. And you and I sometimes because of life being busy, don't always get to catch up on the life things so maybe if we built an end to the podcast we can

  
  

  23:43

  catch up. Yeah. I know. It's important to share this. So what did we learn from this? Here's here's my takeaways is I'm going through the highs and lows with your family. Really, really good. And maybe that's how we help raise emotionally intelligent children and become emotionally intelligent ourselves.

  
  

  24:05

  I'm guided highs and lows. I'm guided Yeah, no expectation and don't. Don't try and fix anything like if they say oh my low was that. I had a bad time on the playground. It's like okay, I'm so sorry. That happened. Like, just let it be. I'll just have that one caveat.

  
  

  24:23

  Yes. No, I have Yeah, perfect. That's a good takeaway. Okay. Um, and I think even maybe even pause I just love writing things down sitting and processing. And so sitting in processing this, we wrote these down. I think that was really good. So I agree. Those are my takeaways.

  
  

  24:40

  Yeah, and mine is the big life journal that you mentioned. I'm going to go check out and bedtime routine, I think prioritizing that for sure. And yeah, just processing things written out and verbally with, you know, someone you trust is a nice thing to do.

  
  

  25:03

  Exactly. It's healing. It's so healing, so healing. Well, hurray for our highs and lows. We hope everybody listening can go through their highs and lows as well. I kind of process that stuff. So hopefully, hopefully you have a takeaway from today.

  
  

  25:19

  Yes, absolutely. Yeah. And if you've been if you enjoy the show, and you you've liked this episode, or you liked previous episodes, we just have a big favor to ask and it is if you can leave a review for our show on whatever platform you listen to this greatly helps our ranking in searches so that we can show up and and more people can listen to our content and we can keep producing this free content for you. We thoroughly enjoy it. We want to keep doing it. So if you could just leave us a review a short sentence with a few words of what you like about the podcast. We would greatly appreciate it and we will have a new one for you next week. So stay tuned and have a beautiful day.